Change the Game You Are Playing

One of my favorite movie quotes is from the movie, Bad Words. Justin Bateman’s character explains, “In the game I’m playing, I’m way ahead right now. Whether you know it or not.”

This is how I see living according to our values.

Before we made major life changes—when we were still living in Austin, enduring a grueling commute, demanding schedules, and settling for passing one another in the hallway—we were a part of a game that we never intended on playing. It seems the rules of that game were to accumulate as much work as possible, to earn as much money as possible, to spend it as quickly as possible, and to drain ourselves to the point of no longer recognizing who we were or what we were doing. If that was the game, I guess you could say we were winning.

We knew deep down what was most important to us—like time with our family and time doing the things we enjoyed—and when it came to that game, we were losing.

When we made the move and redesigned our lives, it meant giving up status, titles, and other typical signs of success. It meant opting for part-time work which meant part-time salaries. When we launched our coaching practice, that meant we were relying on ourselves for income rather than fully relying on an employer. By many standards, it may have seemed we were no longer winning.

But that’s the thing. We changed the game we were playing. We changed the rules. While we ditched placing importance on status, title, salary, possessions, and lifestyle, we learned to focus on family, quality time, travel, hobbies, our health, and our community. We found things we enjoy doing and, most often, we do those things together. In terms of typical success, it may not look as good on paper, but we know “in the game we’re playing, we’re way ahead right now.”

The truth is, it all boils down to values and how little or how much you are living your life aligned to those values.

When it comes to your values, you can align your life, your decisions, your day-to-day choices to those values. You have our permission to change the game you are playing and to redefine the rules.

What game are you playing? Did you choose it? Do you feel like you are winning?