To the Dads

My goodness! It is late, my house is incredibly loud, and I have quietly sneaked out of the ruckus and secluded myself into my bedroom to write. There is only one person in the house that got the heads up I was exiting from the chaos.  The one person that is now solely in charge of the kids, and the mess, and the bath time, and the cuddle time. The one person that most definitely does not usually get the appreciation he deserves.

I typically write from the perspective of a mother’s heart. When I say, “I feel you, I know what you are going through,” I mean it. When I talk about dads, it’s different. I don’t know what it is like to be a dad. I can’t just pretend that because I know what it’s like to be a mom, that I automatically can feel things the same way a dad may feel things. So instead of saying, “I feel you,” instead, I will let you know, “I see you.”

I see the dads. The selfless, hard-working, tired, fun, loving, strong, gentle dads.

I remember the day my brand-new husband went from being my brand-new husband to being a dad. It was the day he made me face the music and go buy a pregnancy test. I hadn’t been feeling well and, basically, the writing was on the wall. We had only been married for three months, and I still had nearly two years until I would finish my bachelor’s degree. But there in the bathroom of our apartment, I stared at a positive pregnancy test, and I cried. I cried and I cried. And that husband, that brand-new dad, lifted up my wet, red, swollen face, looked me in my blood-shot eyes, and promised me everything would be okay. He said, “Opal, we’re going to have our very own little baby, can you believe it!” He had tears in his eyes and a smile on his face. I believed him when he told me I would finish my degree, and I believed him when he told me this was all a part of God’s plan for our family.

I remember the day that brand-new baby was born. I was afraid, so very afraid. Afraid of giving birth, afraid of being a parent, afraid of all the ways I would mess it all up. That brand-new dad held my hand, kissed my face, and stayed right by my side. I can still hear the sound of his voice when he said, “A boy! A boy! Oh my goodness, we have a baby boy!” It was unlike anything I had ever heard.

That reassurance, that patience, that strength, and that excitement has never gone away. 

This is the dad I have watched work all day, and come home to snuggle with the baby until he fell asleep on the couch. This is the dad who after staying hours and hours late at work, would call me on his way home and ask that I not tuck-in the kids yet. He wanted to see them and cuddle with them before they went to sleep that night. This is the dad who would leave work, sit on the bleachers in the blazing hot sun in his dress clothes to watch 30 minutes of one of our kids’ games before leaving to make it to his graduate classes on time. This is the dad who took a red-eye flight to be at a conference so he could be home with the kids when they went trick-or-treating. 

This is the dad who makes sure the kids have new cleats and cheer uniforms, even if that means he still wears shoes that has worn a hole in the bottom. The dad who makes sure every birthday and every Christmas is unforgettable, even if that means he gets no sleep or rest leading up to it.  The dad who has always made it a point we take a family vacation, even if that means teaching summer school or taking on extra duties. 

This is the dad who is strong when I am weak, who is level-headed when I am not, who is calm when I feel like I have lost it.

The truth is, I probably still do not realize half of the things he does for me and for our family. The truth is, he works and he gives and loves and he cares. He guides us and leads us, he cares for us and he consoles us.

So today, I say “I see you, dads!” I see you give to your family day in and day out. I see how hard you work and how much you give. I see when you are the fun one, and I see when you are the one we most fear. I see you on the hot bleachers during games, on the sidelines when you agree to coach, in the yard when they want to play for just five more minutes. I see you carry sleeping kids in from the car and carry kids out of church when they are misbehaving. I see you teach them how to ride a bike and then teach them how to drive. I see you teach them how to be a good kid, and more importantly, how to be a good person.

Thank you, dads. For all that we see, for all that we do not see, for all that you do, for all that you are!