That Place Doesn't Exist
Long before we made our big move to North Carolina, there were literally years of long discussions, soul-searching, and making lists of wants and don’t-wants. We were pretty clear that living in the suburbs, a daily hour-long commute, and being buried in student loan debt was not what we wanted, but it did take time to become very clear on what it was that we did want.
I very much remember telling Brandon that we could do anything he wanted to do, that we could go anywhere he wanted to go, that I would pick up and follow him to any place, he just had to tell me where that place is.
Not long after that conversation, Brandon got to work on his vision of what and where he dreamed our life could be. And when I say he got to work, I’m talking about how he bought a trifold foam board and some fancy pens so that as he became clear on his vision he could actually draw it out.
Days later he emerged with a finished product. He didn’t have a name of a city, but he was very clear on what he wanted it to be. He dreamed of a house on a street with a sidewalk where we could walk to different places. He dreamed that we could live in a historic town with a courthouse and a town square. He described the town being small enough that we could easily become involved and immerse ourselves in the place where we would call home. He even included that he wanted there to be a university in this town so that there would be the heartbeat, diversity, and livelihood that comes with a university town.
He was very clear that in this new life our focus would be on time over money, family over work, and fun and enjoyment over chasing success. He dreamed of a life where we would design our days, where we no longer left home in the dark only to come back home in the dark. He described a life where we could regularly spend time with our extended family and friends. A life where we could live debt-free, and where we could go and do all of the things we wanted to do. Brandon put actual pen to paper, he drew it out, he wrote it out, and he shared it with me.
I want to tell you that I wrapped my arms around him and his dreams and that we set our path towards finding this new life in this new place. I want to tell you that, but that is not what happened.
I looked at Brandon, looked at everything he envisioned, and I told him, “That place doesn’t exist.”
Who says that???
I mean, I thought we could find some of those things, but not all of them. I was skeptic, to say the least, of not only the geography, but mostly the goal of time over money and family over work. These things were so far from where we were, I couldn’t even picture it—not even when I was looking at the literal picture of it!
If there is one thing I am grateful for, it is that Brandon did not let me stand in our way. I mean, I wasn’t against the vision of what he wanted, I just didn’t believe it could all happen. I didn’t believe that we could just set out to create a life and what we pictured could actually exist.
But, even though I couldn’t see it, I was willing to work towards it.
Slowly, we made changes in our lives that allowed us to put more focus on our family. Slowly, we were able to transition to place more value on how we spent our time. Slowly we were able to explore places that we felt were more aligned with the things we wanted to do and the life we wanted to live.
As the story goes, last October we visited western North Carolina to see the changing leaves. We had a short list of towns we wanted to explore, hoping one day to find a place that felt like the place we wanted to call home. While there were no shortage of towns that fit the list, there was one town in particular that had a house on the market in which we became very interested.
As the story goes, we bought that house, and as far as I am concerned, we are living happily ever after.
Turns out, what we envisioned, does in fact exist.
We live in a house on a street with a sidewalk where we regularly take walks, whether it be to town hall where the kids raise and lower the flags or to the post office where the kids get a lollipop from the counter. In town, sits the most photographed courthouse in all of North Carolina. Just below the courthouse is the historic downtown with shops, breweries, and coffee shops. And lo and behold, this picture-perfect town even has a community college and a four-year university.
And all of this is just geography. What really matters is the life we are living here. The life I couldn’t even picture. Now, Brandon and I both work part-time and we have the rest of our days to spend with our kids doing things we choose to do. We are free of student loan debt. This past year, we saw more of our extended family and friends than ever before. We are involved in our church and in our community. We travel as a family and are seeing more places and doing more things. We wake up with passion and purpose, knowing we get to live the lives we set out to live.
Turns out, our hopes and our dreams do exist.
What are your hopes? What are your dreams?
What would happen if you gave yourself permission to say those dreams out loud? What would happen if you put those hopes and dreams into action?
The truth is, if you can think it, hope it, and dream it, then you can live it!
The truth is, we now dream bigger than ever before, because we know whatever our hearts are calling us to do—that life does exist!
