Listen to Our Hearts

The summer of 2004 was hot. I know this because I was pregnant that entire summer which made the Texas heat rather unforgettable. I remember a day when I was what seemed like 13 months along, and Brandon and I both were complaining incessantly about the heat and how we wished there was someplace to live that wasn’t so hot.

I will never forget when Brandon looked at me, and with every bit of frustration, desperation, and desire he told me he just wanted to live in a place that has four seasons. He wanted a spring full of color and warming days, he wanted a summer where you could still go outside and do things, he wanted a fall with all of the vibrant colors we’ve only ever seen in movies or pictures, and he wanted a winter where you could sled and play in the snow. I heard him out and then in true Opal fashion looked at him and said, “I don’t think a place like that even exists” (little did I know then this would become a common phrase of mine). And, in true Brandon fashion, he was going to prove otherwise.

He disappeared into the home office turned nursery, and that’s when I heard what no wife wants to hear when one is trying to prove a point—our dial up internet.

Dial tone—high pitch sound—low pitch sound—static—more high pitch sounds—connection.

He later emerged, printed papers in hand, and said, “Asheville.”

I just looked at him.

He said, “Asheville, North Carolina.”

I still just looked at him.

He said, “Asheville, North Carolina, home of Biltmore, has four seasons…” and he continued to read me the stats he learned from his research.

From that moment on, Brandon and I read about Asheville, how it had a vibrant spring, a mild summer, beautiful fall foliage, and a few snowfalls each year. We read about the various attractions and other highlights that draw people to that area. From that moment on, we began to dream about what it would be like to live in a place we chose to live based on the things we want to do. Because we were both educators at the time, we even researched the certification requirements it would take for us to work there. From that moment on, we envisioned this life we would have, enjoying the life of four seasons in Asheville, North Carolina.

From that moment on, we dreamed—for about the next seven minutes.

That’s when our attention turned to all of the reasons it wouldn’t work—all of the reasons we shouldn’t. The main concern was how far away we would be from our families. We worried we wouldn’t be able to see them as often and that was something very important to us. So, we put away the print outs, and we tucked away that dream.

What we have learned since then is that seeing family has less to do with geography and more to do with priorities. We thought we were honoring our value of spending time with family by living “close.” But in reality, we were buried in our careers and covered up by our calendar commitments. We were “within driving distance,” but instead of making the drive we were saying yes to practices and games, rehearsals and performances. And when we were home, we were in full recovery mode from the days and weeks we already lived and the days and weeks that were sprawled out ahead. We were not living out our values and we were not spending time the way we wanted or the way we said we would.

Over the past couple of years as we have learned to simplify our lives and to realign to our values, we have stripped away the things that are not as important to us. We have freed up time in our schedules so that we can do the things we really want to do. We have moved to a small town, just an hour outside of Asheville, where sitting on our front porch, going for a bike ride, or taking a midday hike happens year-round. We now chase waterfalls in the warmer months and go sledding when it’s cold.

Since moving halfway across the country, we have seen more family and more friends than we ever have before. We have noticed the time we spend with them has not only increased in quantity, but it has increased in quality as well. Our visits are more frequent, and we are more present than ever. Turns out, it had nothing to do with where we lived but it had everything to do with how we were living.

The truth is, our priorities, our values, and living with intention is what truly allows us to put first things first. We have learned that we should listen to our hearts even when our hearts sound crazy. We have learned to turn our ear to God and to really listen for the things He has planned for us. The truth is, it is in those tiny whispers that we find our true calling.