When Life Gets Hard
January was a hard month for us. I don’t know how else to say it. And while I am not usually one to “complain,” there is far more to this story.
Let me explain.
Just two days after Christmas, while playing basketball in the driveway with the kids, Brandon fell over the 6.5 foot retaining wall that is next to our house. And just like that, he had a fractured calcaneus—he broke his heel.
We took him straight to the emergency room where they told us they would get an X-ray and we should “hope it’s not a broken heel.” Little did we know then the road that was ahead of us.
It turns out, this is an incredibly painful injury. We thought the week leading up to surgery was bad, but we were in for a shock. After a several-hour long surgery and two nights in the hospital, we were back home and he was in more pain than ever. Gradually, over the next few weeks, the pain lessened, and by the end of January, the 20-some stitches were removed and the pain was eventually replaced with ongoing discomfort and swelling. The 10-12 week recovery remains non-weight bearing, meaning he won’t walk again until he starts physical therapy in mid-to-late March.
So this is where we have been. The big kids have been so amazing in helping to take care of the family, grocery shopping, and cooking. The little kids have been so helpful with getting Brandon what he needs and making sure he does his stretches and exercises. And Brandon has been such a good patient doing everything he can on his own and letting us take care of him as he needs.
Of course, this injury was quite unexpected. Before all of this, we had travel plans, plans to try new hiking trails, we even had plans to take the kids skiing (how ironic to get an injury BEFORE you go skiing!). The pain and recovery was quite unexpected as well. We had no idea what it would look like for Brandon to be off of his foot for more than three months.
But the other part that came to us which was also unexpected was the courage to share that what we were going through was hard. We were able to open up, to let people know this was a challenging time for us. I feel like in the past, we were ones to sugarcoat what was happening. We didn’t want to seem like we were complaining. I think we wanted to look like we had it all together. This also meant that whatever suffering we would do, we would do alone. So many times in the past I made things seem better than they actually were and then I would fall apart all by myself behind closed doors.
What we gained from this honest sharing was a complete outpouring of love, support, and prayers. Countless people not only listened, but they shared with us their own difficult journeys and how they endured. I don’t know about you, but there is a great comfort in knowing “we’re not the only ones.” We learned that burdens are meant to be shared. And we learned that suffering feels a lot less like suffering when we can go through it with others.
The truth is, we went through a really hard time. What we learned is that when we can be open and honest, whatever we are going through seems to be not so bad.
I share this to give you permission. Permission to be open, to share your burden, to say “this is hard.” My friend, I hope you find the courage to share and the love, support, and prayers to carry you through.
