Choose To Be Free

Ah, the New Year. It’s a time for reflection and a time for new beginnings. A time to look back on where we have been and a time to chart a new path moving forward. We can count the many things for which we are thankful and we can make a plan for all of the things we’d like to change. I feel like this new year is special as we not only close out a year, but we also close out a decade. I am looking at this as the end of my last 20 years and the beginning of my next 20!

I am also thinking about and carefully choosing my word of focus for this upcoming year and decade. Sometimes, my focus word does not come so easily to me. Sometimes it takes discernment beyond the first of January before it becomes clear what I would like to change, improve, or keep close to my heart. Last year, my focus word was “lagniappe.” I spent time last year doing a little extra for myself, for my family, for my friends, my community, and my church. I am all the better for what I experienced and the many ways others impacted me in the process.

This year, before we even ring in the New Year, I know where I will focus my attention, I know the word that is already written on my heart. This year, this decade, I choose to be free!

I will be free from feeling not good enough. Sometimes, it doesn’t matter how much I plan, how much I put into something, sometimes I just feel not good enough. Sometimes I am not a good enough wife, not a good enough mom, not a good enough friend. Sometimes I am not a good enough meal planner, not a good enough house cleaner, not a good enough decorator. Sometimes I am not a good enough listener and not a good enough communicator. Sometimes, I’m just not good enough. But not anymore. My good will be enough. Everyday. Every time. I will be enough.

I will be free from saying yes to things that do not bring me joy. So many times I say yes to going places or doing things that just do not bring me joy. There is literally no return on the time or effort I put into whatever that thing is. I would rather only say yes to things that are good for me, good for my marriage, or good for my family. I will seek to serve and give in ways that bring joy and peace to me or others. Otherwise, it may not be worth my time!

I will be free from clutter in my home and in my life. One of my favorite things to do is follow the Marie Kondo method of “Tidying Up.” Just as I enjoy getting the clutter out of my home, I also find it important to get the clutter out of my life. I will be intentional about the time I spend on social media, about the things I choose to watch or read, about the things I choose to do with my family and friends. There are so many distractions that keep us from doing the things we really want to do and becoming the person we really want to be. I say, get the clutter out! Only keep the things in your life that bring you joy, the things that make you a better person!

I will be free from debt. I’m not going to lie…nearly 20 years of marriage has left us with nearly 20 years of debt. But I am going to work, work hard with my husband, to free ourselves of the weight of the financial debt we have been carrying for the past two decades. We will be intentional in our earning, spending, giving, and we will free ourselves from the debt. We will in turn create a life that allows us to do more of the things we want to do and have less of the things we just don’t need. 

I will be free from distractions in my marriage. There are more distractions in a marriage than anything else I can think of. Why? Because not only is there the distraction of work, home, extended family, illness, finances, the unexpected, but there is also the distraction of our KIDS! Those little darlings that we love so much can suck up all of our time and energy and resources, and we allow it! I will work hard to put my husband first, to remember I loved him long before our little people came along, to remember he will be there long after those little people aren’t little anymore. I will do what I can to free ourselves from some of those distractions, and to love my husband today, and to make time for our marriage today the way I dreamt I would when we married nearly 20 years ago!

I will be free from anxiety and worry. This is my biggie. This is the kicker for me. Everything pretty much rolls right back to me feeling anxious and worried. This is me up late at night with racing thoughts. This is me in the shower first thing in the morning already feeling like I will never do the things I need to do in a day. This is me in the car, playing and replaying what I did or didn’t do and what I still need to get done. This is me when I am inattentive. This is me when I am snappy. This is me when I am tired. This is me when I find myself comparing. This is me when things feel like too much. This is me. But not this year. This year I will pray through that anxiety and worry. This year I will place perspective over problems. This year I will place gratitude at the top of every list. This year I will talk it out, I will write it out, I will share. 

This year, I want to let go of the fear. This year, I want to be free. 

The truth is, most of what keeps us tethered to where we are and how we are feeling is just us. The truth is, we hold the strength to be the beautiful people we are intended to be. The truth is, we can love and serve and give and find happiness and peace in the process!

Cheers! Here’s to a year of change! Here’s to being free!

Happy New Year, friends!