Family-Time Birthday
Over the past 21 years, we have planned, prepped, and thrown 77 birthday parties. That’s right—five kids over the course of 21 years equals 77 birthdays. Our most recent birthday was our youngest son celebrating his ninth birthday over the weekend, just two days after Thanksgiving.
Leading up to his birthday, he let us know he wanted to spend the day with just the family. He said he would like some cupcakes to enjoy with his neighborhood friends the following day, but that on his actual birthday, he wanted it to be just the seven of us.
The big dilemma came into play when we asked how he wanted to spend his day. He threw out all kinds of ideas—playing laser tag, a trampoline park, going to an arcade—but for every idea he came up with, he would have a reason not to do it. We were getting kind of bummed out for him as he tried to come up with the one thing he wanted to do.
As the seven of us gathered around our small kitchen table, streamers draped from wall to wall across the ceiling, a homemade Bigfoot cookie cake in front of him, a small stack of gifts for him to unwrap, he came up with his big idea. He wanted us to all go play mini-golf.
While there is no shortage of crowded mini-golf options near us, he chose a small, mom-and-pop, “carpet mini-golf,” that I am fairly certain has not been updated since its inaugural debut in the 1950s. We were one of maybe five other families who were there. With two different 18-hole courses, we were free to take our time past the lighthouse, through the pirate ship, and under the cedar plank barns.
As we made our way through the course, some of us were cheered on and some of us were heckled. Some of us showed off our skills and some of us broke records of how many putts it could actually take. I’ve never heard so many celebratory chants and in-unison boos in the same game!
And it was the best day. We all laughed until we nearly cried. We all smiled until our faces hurt. We all agreed this was one of the most fun days ever. And we all agreed it was the little birthday boy that brought us together in this way.
We were reminded by our newly nine-year-old that the one thing any of us actually wants is time. Time together. Time to not be rushed. Time to play and laugh. Time to enjoy ourselves. Time to have fun.
Time.
Our nine-year-old wanted time for his birthday.
As we reflect on our “unbinding” journey, this is definitely a defining moment. We have left behind the pressure to throw the perfect party and have freed ourselves from coordinating the most special day. We have traded in hours of prep time to hours of authentic joy and laughter. We have let go of the way we think the day should go and have embraced all that it really is. And the best part, our kids have embraced this as well, and are teaching us more than we could ever teach them!
We are grateful for this Unbinded Life and all its unexpected lessons. And we are grateful for birthdays—all of them—the ones we’ve already had and the ones that are yet to come!
